The new and improved running blog-- now with more hallucinations!

Me: I’m si-i-ick. I’m starving. But food makes me want to throw u-u-up. And I’m tired but I can’t sleeeeep. I haaaaaaaaate this.
God: Oh no. You have GOT to be kidding me.
Me: This is your fault! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SICK?
God: Are you serious with this shit? Because I swear, like five minutes ago, you were cursing me for making you so happy.
Me: Yeah, but I didn’t want to be sick. I never said that I wanted to be sick. This is totally unfair.
God: Honestly, I have had it up to HERE with you. You are NEVER HAPPY.
Me: Hey… you’re kind of right. Well… nevermind, then. Thanks, I guess. I mean, thanks for trying, anyway.
God: Whatever. I am so out of here.

**************

So, I’ve come to an important Realization.

The problem last week was not that I was too happy. Happy isn’t boring.

It’s just me. I’m boring.

Now that I’m happily miserable again, back in my PJs after an oh-so-brief interlude in grown-up clothes today, sick and grumpy, but with a much clearer mind post-nap, I understand.

It makes a lot of sense, really. I’m not sure why I didn’t see it before, but we’ll just chalk it up to the crazy runner’s high I was on last week. Plus the cocaine.

But I’m better now. And I know the solution. Since this reality isn’t offering much in the way of fun running stories, and since I feel too crappy to go running today, anyway, and since that fact causes me no end of angst, because this will be the first time since I started training that I’ve gone more than two days without running, (because I was too busy on Sunday sitting around and eating French toast to actually exercise, and then I was too busy yesterday doing the chores I didn’t do on Sunday) then there’s only one solution: I will craft my own reality.

So wanna hear about my crazy run, today? Of course you do.

There I was at work, sitting behind my desk, pushing papers and filling forms, being barraged with a constant stream of useless email. I got up to give something to my boss, and all of a sudden, when I walked from my windowless hole into his spacious, bright, window-walled corner office, I saw the sun. It was beautiful. Clear, and bright, blue sky as far as the eye could see.

So I started to cough. And sniffle. Subtly, of course. I grabbed a tissue from his desk, and blew my nose noisily while he asked me a question, and sneezed mightily mid-response. It was a command performance.

And then, after handing him some Purell so he could get rid of any germs I had inadvertently spread, I high-tailed it out of there.

I went straight home, changed into running stuff and hopped in my car, and headed east toward the Maryland shore. I actually hadn’t been to the beach in Maryland yet, but I managed to find a nice shore point without too much difficulty, parked and stood by the water. It was cold, and there was a pretty biting wind, but it was lovely. Gray water, meeting pale blue sky, hitting the beach in foamy waves. It had been way too long since I’d been near the ocean.

So I pulled out my trusty pedometer, the one that never overestimates my distance by sixteen million times, set it to zero, and started running. It was a little weird to run on sand, and definitely more tiring, but of course it was mostly flat, so that made it easier. I ran about 4 miles, and than just sat for a while on a rocky outcrop, before heading home.

It was an absolutely amazing afternoon, and yet another reason to be so glad that I signed up for this marathon. I would never have thought to do something like this if it hadn’t been for the running. I’m having so many fantastic experiences, but the best part of this is the way that I’m so motivated to try new things and break my routine. Who even knows what tomorrow will bring?

How much better was that than the truth? SO MUCH better.