Tuesday, August 23, 2005

12 days until the VA Beach Half Marathon...

So I don’t know if you know this, but I pretty much write all of my updates while I’m at work. (That’s a lie! All of my work hours are spent productively working!)

Recently, however, I’ve spent my downtime at work on another side project: namely, looking for another job. (Slander! Who told you that? I could never condone such abuse of company equipment or time.)**

So my primo blogging time has been spent fruitlessly combing through job listings (search terms: Naomi and dream and job; no hits. Baffling), filling out the Peace Corps Application (the backup plan that is quickly becoming the primary plan), and updating my resume (endless, impossible, and annoying).

Plus, after you go a few days without posting, it gets much harder. It’s like, you’re running along, and you thinking about how this! This run, right now, will make a hilarious entry! Because the track? That you thought was 400 meters long? Is only 300 meters! Comic genius! But then it’s two days later, and you’ve already run another time, and you don’t really remember why you were so excited about the mystical, magical track of extra speedy Yassos (that are actually unmystical, unmagical, and normal amounts of speedy because the track? Was only 300 meters! Oh, I need a moment to catch my breath, because the laughter, it is not stopping).

I do want to complain about ChiRunning for a moment. Did you know that they meant Chi, as in “chee”, as in Tai Chi?

Because, I? Did not.

I was all pronouncing that “Kai” rhymes with "rye" Running. Because I’m down with folk music and vegetarians, and even pilates, but something about Yoga and eastern philosophies just weirds me out. (Kharmically, Peace Corps is now destined to send me to India. Sigh.)

I should clarify—I’m not trying to insult Buddhist Monks or wherever this stuff really comes from (hello ignorance!). I just don’t like the people who tell me I can change my life by breathing.

Which, in retrospect, I should have thought about before buying the book. Especially because I’m a little bit lying when I said that I didn’t know how they meant Chi. I mean, it was true, when I first read it, I didn’t make the connection. But then I read the pun that Riona’s doctor ***made about how it was “ouChi” running, and I figured it out. But I reasoned that if I just kept calling it “Kai” Running, we could all keep going to the kosher deli and stay happy and injury-free.

Then I got the book. There’s no denying it. The author is all about breathing and getting Chi from food and they really should have called the book “New Age Running” because the whole Chi thing is really misleading to some people.

Plus, I tried the first exercise to strengthen my core and straighten my back, and I did it wrong, and my back hurt for a week.

But then! It was Saturday! And I did my long run with a TNT friend and her dog and her neighbor, and we ran 10 miles, and my instep started to hurt in a way that my friend said indicated impending plantar fascitis! But then I remembered that ChiRunning said that relaxing the muscles in your legs and feet reduces the impact! And it worked!

Oh, the hilarity. Good thing I have a blog so I can share these priceless moments.

Anybody want to hire me to be a reporter at a newspaper (or bureau of a newspaper or newswire or magazine) in southern Africa?

** I have told my boss that I’m looking for a new job, which he understands and (mournfully) supports. When I took my job, I informally promised to stay here two years. He in turn promised that this job had no track towards promotion. I have been here 2 years and 2 months. There is no track for promotion. This is not because I suck at my job. Or because I blog at work (I don’t!).

*** (Edited to add): You know, when I typed "Stephanie" up there, I thought to myself, "Self, was that Stephanie or Riona who had the foot with the doctor and the Chi running?" And I told myself, "Err, Stephanie? I dunno. Look it up." But then I told myself, "Eh, someone will point it out if I was wrong," because I am an irresponsible blogger. But then everybody was too polite to tell me. Sigh. I guess I need to do my own fact-checking. Remind me what I pay you all for?


Blogger Susan said...

Chi wizzzzz, you are tough on the whole chi running thing. I do find the breathing helps me. I always begin my runs by deep belly breathing...and it doesn't take me nearly as long to find my zone. Good luck with the job search.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Danny said...

I'm sorry you're taking up time from your blogging to look for a job. I just found your site and I quite enjoy it!

12:04 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

You might be joking about the laughing, but I am *doing* it.. laughing, that is. At you, or more with you, since you are laughing too. If you join Peace Corps you must demand a placement with Internet access so you can blog. It's only fair. :-)

2:25 AM  
Blogger Scooter said...

Makes me think of the bumper sticker:
Your Karma Ran Over My Dogma
Good luck in the job hunt. Pay attention to stretching your feet, achilles, and hamstrings. You may ward off the dreaded PF.

11:30 AM  
Blogger jeanne said...

you're hilarious. even when you're not!

I too am job hunting, but unlike you cannot post about it since a few people at work actually read my blog which is why it is soooo vanilla and ONLY about running (well, really about life etc, but always veiled). of course when they see this, they'll know.

so did i just screw myself?

anway, good luck with job hunt. you are so talented i hope you land a job writing. preferably something creative. preferably something that we can read, because we are not easily amused and, as you know, we crave constant amusement.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Good luck on your job hunt. I don't know what you do, but you are probably good at it and I hope it involves writing.

Regarding your run the other day, did the dog run 10 too? I am always wondering how far my dog can run. She's a good sized dog and seems to poop out at about 3.5 miles, but I don't like to push her beyond that either. I'm intrigued by a dog running 10!

3:11 PM  
Blogger Riona said...

Ai, good luck with the job search.

I totally agree with you about Chi Running. Enough with the energy flow already. It confirms my belief that "New Age" should be pronounced to rhyme with "sewage".

3:22 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

It's easy to get us foot people mixed up.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I agree with you on the the Chi-thing...some of the chapters are a little too "out-there" for me. But, really, I think he's gotta a great concept with the running form. I skimmed over the "Chi-flowing from my body" chapters and focused on those that talked about more, well, solid concepts (forms, injuries, etc). And like everyone else has said...good luck with the job hunt :-)

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Andre said...

You are hilarious! I have gone through and read every one of your post. I am currently stationed on a ship that is sailing in the Persian Gulf and you have proved me with some much needed comic relief. I think I am in love! :) Congrats on all that you have accomplished and good luck on the things that I know you will accomplish. I look forward to your continued postings :)

6:45 AM  

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