Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Bless me father, I have sinned

In the spirit of the new Pope, this entry will be a confession.

(I think, incidentally, that you learn all you need to about this Pope based on the name he chose: Pope Benedict XVI. The sixteenth? It’s like he’s put up a big sign that says, “nothing to see here, folks. Move right along. You’ve seen it all before. FIFTEEN TIMES.”

I have to admit that I don’t know anything about how the Pope chooses his name, and I mean no disrespect to any Catholics who may be reading this. But seriously, can’t you just picture all the other Cardinals scoffing when they heard his choice. There’d be one guy who’d be all, “I was going to be Pope LUKE. There’s a nice Pope name.”

And then another one was all, “Whatever, LUKE, that’s ALREADY YOUR NAME. Way to think outside the box.”

And Luke would be like, “Fine, Mr. Holy VonCreativepants. What name would you pick?”

And the other guy’d be all, “I’d be Pope Jazzy Jeff. That’d be sure to get the kids psyched about Catholicism again. And then I’d get all the cool celebrities, like Patrick Swayze and Molly Ringwald to convert. Catholocism is where it’s AT, yo.” (The Cardinals are old, so they can’t be expected to keep up with their pop culture references.))

Hopefully this digression has been offensive enough that everyone is too busy composing hate mail and organizing protests (“Hell no, noames.blogspot has got to go!) to pay attention to the confession that is coming:

After all my vows of running, and The New Accountability, and the tattoo on my arm that says “I will not skip any more runs ever, and that means today”, well, after all that, I totally didn’t run yesterday.

My official excuse is that I was still exhausted from Saturday’s long run. Did I tell you about how I slept all day on Sunday, except for a brief foray to the gym to meet with the trainer to update my weights routine? I thought I would have trouble sleeping that night, but it turned out that, nope, slept just fine, thanks.

So yes, I was probably still feeling the effects of the long run. But also? I’m a big baby and I’m lazy, and I felt at least two drops of rain on the way home from work, and I wanted a stir fry with rice for dinner, and brown rice takes 45 minutes to cook, and Gilmore Girls was on at 8, and once my mother sent me to my room without dinner, and the world is a cold, dark place where evil roams, and really, given all that, how could I possibly run?

Long story short (too late!), I didn’t run. And I know it’s not the end of the world, and, really, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t make much of a difference. But I’m annoyed because I set a goal for this week (to run 5 times) and even if I count Sunday’s weights as “cross-training”, I still will not meet that goal.

Oh well. As they say, tomorrow is another day. And tonight is a track workout for speed. Let’s see if I can still do a 4-minute half mile, shall we?


Blogger Jessica said...

I had exactly the same thoguht about the pope's name... only my train of thought was not nearly as funny as yours. Thank you for making me laugh :-). Pope Jazzy Jeff for president!

4:13 PM  
Blogger susie said...

The Gilmore Girls is an official reason to miss a run. Didn't you know that? You're off the hook.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Thank you for your kind comment and your support during my dad's surgery. All is going well so far and I could totally feel everyone there beside me as we waited yesterday. :-)

9:17 PM  
Anonymous BD said...

If I was the Pope I'd make you run 5 days or I'd send you to your room without dinner.

I missed many runs for a variety of reasons. It's the longer trend that matters. Besides, sometimes rest is as important as training. Speaking of that...I have to go to sleep.

1:11 AM  
Blogger David said...

Noames - The Vatican called. They have an opening at the Mary Magdalen Lounge this weekend. They're looking for a comedy act. Call 1-866-WHITEPUFF.

6:28 AM  

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