Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Choose Your Own Adventure

Hello everyone! Today I have a special treat: an interactive update, wherein our heroine, Naomi, is faced with choices, and YOU get to decide.

Let’s start at a quarter to eight, when Naomi’s alarm wakes her with the dulcet tones of Steve Inskeep and Renee Montaigne. She leaps (okay, rolls grudgingly) out of bed and starts her morning routine, including picking an outfit to wear to work. Should she:

A) base her outfit around those super-cute new pointy black high heels she bought over the weekend, despite the fact that her ankles and knees (and, currently, back) are often sore from all the running she’s doing. After all, the shoes are way comfortable, for high heels.

Or

B) choose to wear comfortable and sensible shoes, of which she owns many pairs, and of which many are extremely cute (though not as hot as those sling-backs from A).

If you chose (A), keep reading. If you chose (B), skip to the following section.

After getting dressed, Naomi eats a healthy breakfast, and packs a lunch for later. She dashes to the metro, buys a banana from the cart on the corner near her office, and scoots into her desk chair only 10 minutes late. Now at work, she is ready to be productive, despite the blisters that seem to have eaten both her pinky toes (new shoes, warm weather, no stockings… of course she got blisters). And look, the morning has flown by, and now it’s time for lunch. Should she:

A) fight through the pain, and go out to lunch with her friend, because the weather is gorgeous, and her friend wants a burrito from the burrito truck.

Or

B) take the elevator down to the sunny courtyard and eat the sandwich she brought from home, minimizing the amount she has to walk around.

If you chose (A), keep reading. If you chose (B), do the same.

After her tasty lunch, Naomi totters back to her desk, where she fights evil, solves the unsolveable, and gives hope to the hopeless, per usual. But when 5:30 rolls around, it’s time to head home. Naomi is a little hungry and needs a few things from the store, so she stops at the market on the corner, where she picks up some yogurts, fruit, carrots and hummus.

When she gets back to her apartment, she opens up the carrots and hummus for a healthy snack before her run. Should she:

A) Eat sixteen pounds of carrots and five cups of hummus because, well, yum, even though she’ll be far too full to run,

OR

B) Eat a few baby carrots with a small amount hummus, just enough to give her an extra boost of energy, without filling her up.

Whew, those were a lot of decisions. Let’s see how you did.

If you chose mostly (A)s, then you did just what the real Naomi did! Congratulations on looking super hot all day in your flowy linen skirt and fancy shoes (and I’m sure people totally didn’t notice your pained hobbling as you lurched home on blistered feet). Yes, your run was painful and sluggish, but at least the weather was beautiful, the daffodils were blooming, and you were running so slow, you hardly broke a sweat! Pretty girls don't need to sweat.

If you chose mostly (B)s, well, then, hip, hip, hooray, Mr. or Mrs. Aren’t We Just the Smartest Ever. I'm sure your run was just fabulous, and you made great time, and you probably even went to the gym for a circuit on the weight machines. Whatever. I’m totally proud of you. Seriously.

4 Comments:

Anonymous susan said...

A: I'm with you on the blisters,sister. New shoes, yummy:)
B: Tons of carrots and hummus are better than 900 other things you could have eaten!

5:39 AM  
Anonymous BD said...

Well, I don't know much about wearing pointy black high heel shoes so I'd have to go with B. Going out to lunch with a friend is always a bonus so I'd go with A. And what's wrong with 16 lbs of carrots and 5 cups of hummus? Yum. Definitely A. How'd I do? Did I win anything?

11:04 AM  
Blogger David said...

I think the hot shoes decision was a no-brainer and lunch out with the friend was automatic because you had to parade around in those hot shoes. There is no way I would eat hummus so I'll settle for 20 pounds of carrots and hope there are plenty of thick bushes along the route to deposit the carrot overdose when it overcomes me. I forgot my watch today anyway.
Did I pass?

10:17 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

Style over substance EVERY time...you go!

10:05 AM  

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